Bulimic and bipolar, advice needed?

i am a 30 yr old woman with 3 children and a secret that seems to be coming out since i was 19. i have bulemia. i eat at leat 5 to 10 times a day and drink large quantities of liquid and i throw them up. i dont know why the hell i do it, it is retarded and i am wasting money. the only thing i will keep down is like a few suckers or hard candy. i will keep liquids down. i dont have to use my finger anymore until the end when i taste the bile. i look average because the lithium that i take for bipolar causes weight gain. it is hard even beef jerky or salads with fat free dressings i wont eat anymore. i wear a size 8 and it is too much weight i feel like. again i know it is super unhealthy and i have 3 children but i absolutely cannot control this. i eat it and it sits in my stomach and i have to get it out. please help if anyone can...thanks