I have an addiction 1. thinking past 2.don"t control and how i control my body?

i love a girl she cheated me and insult me mujhse ek galti ho gayi thi i tell my friend about her but she didn"t want then next day she revenged me with her friend"s she iwas commited but she told me he wouldn"t interfare i apologizes but doing insult said me woh bahut acha hain i want to forget her but me nahi kar pa raha hoon daily i listen murali but sometime i think iam powerful lekin woh events emerge hote hain daily i do meditation strong realisation nahi aa pa rahi uske liye kabhi dil me pyar kabhi nafrat ati hai i"m in deepressipon for five months neri health kharab ho gayi hai ab mein 30% out of deepres... gyan se and changing atmos phere abhi bhi nahi bhula pa raha hoon help me shivani didi.............. mein kaisi thought create karoon..and tell me about thought om shanti umesh......